The Clampetts Take on The Champs-Élyseés

On our recent trip to Paris, we spent an entire morning exploring the Champs-Élyseés, on one of Rick Steves’ many recommended self-guided walking tours. I’m a big fan of the walks in Mr. Steves’ tour books, as he points out lots of things that I would never otherwise notice. His Champs-Élyseés walk was no exception. Before I regale you with our adventure, however, let me first paint a picture of Bob and I on this day. We were both wearing long sleeved SmartWool tops, the same exact tops we would wear the entire trip. Look at a photo of me on day one and day six and you won’t see a difference. In our defense, 100% merino wool clothing does not get smelly. I’ve worn the same top hiking in late summer in Southern Portugal for five days in a row, with no adverse aromas whatsoever. So at least we didn’t smell when we were on the Champs-Élyseés, but I can’t say we looked very fancy either. I had on black ExOfficio travel pants, also low on the glamour scale, while Bob was wearing ExOfficio travel jeans. Yes, we were a walking advertisement for Travel Essentials. Bob was wearing black Doc Martens (highly comfortable and hip in London perhaps, but not in Paris), and I was wearing black converse tennis shoes, to give you a better idea of our fancy wear.

Now that you can surely picture our attractive attire, here’s how we spent our morning. We started out at the Arc de Triomphe, admiring the compelling scenes carved into its exterior. From there we popped in to the flagship Louis Vuitton store, the Renault automobile store, the famous and extremely popular Longchamp handbag store, and many other fancy Paris shops. The Champs-Élyseés has quite a few international chain stores too, including McDonalds – which the French were apparently, and appropriately, horrified by when it opened in the ’70s – Sephora, Gap, Disney, and more. But Rick Steves’ guided us to historic French shops and sites, which are frankly not to be missed. One such stop is Ladureé, a stunning 19th century tea salon and patisserie, where we sampled delicious macarons and mini tarts, along with outstanding coffee. Ladureé is well known for their macarons, which you can purchase boxed up to go, but it’s well worth an hour of your time to soak up the atmosphere. We sat upstairs in the fabulously decorated cafe, where we were seated close to a French mother/daughter pair in fancy wear and pearls, and a Frenchman reading the newspaper and drinking coffee with a bow tie, handkerchief, and suit to match. But we rocked our well worn travel clothing.

After our mid-day snack, we pressed on to a Rick Steves’ recommended shop, Guerlain, a perfumery with roots stretching back to 1829. Steves advised us to “notice the 1914 details of the shop,” and to “climb upstairs, as it’s tres French.” What he didn’t tell us was that we would quickly be scooped up and adopted by an entertaining and quite knowledgeable Guerlain employee, Remy, who would proceed to spend the next 60 minutes with us. He walked us through all of the perfumes, skin care and makeup routines that Guerlain has to offer, describing each with great detail in his beautifully French-accented English, before he finally escorted us upstairs to see what frankly is more of a stunning perfume museum than a store. Remy was delightful, showing us the private room where British royalty, and the likes of Madonna and Celine Dion, are said to sit when they visit Guerlain, spraying samples of 300 euro bottles of perfume onto card sticks so we could smell them, and telling us that in all of our future visits to Guerlain, he would be our “personal assistant.” We ended up buying skincare products for our daughters, not because we intended to, but because we felt some obligation to Remy, after all the delightful time he spent with us. At one point, he asked Bob what his “scent” is, and when Bob stared blankly at him, he prompted, “are you more spicy, woodsy, fruity, or floral?” Bob chose woodsy. LOL.

Our visit with Remy ended with him asking me if he could “perfume me.” It took me a few seconds to understand that he wanted to spray me with the scent I liked best, even though there was no chance we were going to buy any perfume. I happily said yes, and while Remy “perfumed me” he taught me the proper way to perfume yourself. Apparently, I’ve been doing it wrong for 52 years. Imagine that.

Never once did Remy blink an eye at our “experienced” travel clothing, at my scuffed Converse tennis shoes, or my Baggallini backpack. Nor did he make us feel like we “had” to buy anything. He simply wanted to show us everything in the store because he was excited about it, and because he takes his job seriously.

I highly recommend a walking tour of the Champs Élyseés, as well as a visit to Guerlain. Ask for Remy, and tell him Bob and Nancy sent you.

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